Day 19 - Gör om gör rätt!!!

Gör om gör rätt (redo, do it right.... not sure how to translate this correctly) really seems to be the theme for me 2011. Today I went to the first session with my personal trainer Matthew Griffiths. He is awesome and it seems like he really knows what he is doing. Today we just got started by him checking if my joints work properly, how I move etc. It turns out I'm pretty fucked up in this area to. So far this year I have discovered that most things I have been doing all my life has been just that, fucked up so I was not really surprised about what Matthew told me. So for the next 2 weeks I'm not even allowed to work out. I'm only allowed to do some TLC=tender loving care stuff such as stretching and massaging my legs by rolling on a foam roll until we get my posture sorted out so that I can start moving my body the way I should.

This is the mess that I'm cleaning up in 2011:


School- went to business school and never really liked it, but it sounded good and I thought it would give me a good job. It did give me good jobs (money wise) but I never liked them. So now I'm going back to school to become a veterianrian because that is what I AM passionate about.

Relationships - mostly thinking about a partner here. Has not worked out so well during the last 30 years, so working on that one still....not doing so well ;-)

Foods- as most people, been on a crappy diet without being aware of it. Working on finding a balance being mainly raw.

Body and workout- Turns out I have only been doing the things that I'm good at for the last 15 years or so which has created a huge imbalance in my body. Will spend lots of time, energy and money with Matthew to find my balance again.

Well I could keep on going for a while but I think this is enough. I guess it could seem really tragic when you look at it but I'm actually very happy about it. It is actually very exciting, I'm quitting doing a lot of things that did not make me happy and opening up for all the things that will actually make me happy to come into my life. And it is a lot better to realize all of this stuff NOW then LATER.

I'm not quite sure what this has to do with Raw but I guess it is just about living my life Raw meaning cutting away all the bullshit and focusing and finding the things that actually means something to me and that makes me happy. Just living my passions without compromising myself!!!

Today Raw lunch at least mostly raw....

• Lentils
• Raw Beets, chopped fine in mixer
• Olives
• Arugola
• Baby Spinach
• Tomatoes
• Goji Berries
• Punpkin seeds
• Walnuts
• Olive oil
• Aceto di Balsamico

Affirmation: I listen to my heart. I follow my heart.
I know that it is fruitless to try to please everybody, 
so I listen to me above all.

Day 18- To much sugar

Yesterday after the surgery I had a lot of sugar (bored, hungry and felt I needed something comforting after all the stress....logical...not!!!). My mom bought grapes for me and I ate the whole box, raspberry juice, plus a raw chocolate drink with both honey and dates and 2 nectarines. It did not feel good at all and I could still feel that in my body this morning. It is really interesting how much more aware I have become of how different foods effects my body since I started eating Raw. It is fascinating and almost stressful at the same time. It is kind of like when I start meditating. In the beginning I felt more stressed after meditating because I felt I had a million thoughts in my head. But actually I had not more thoughts then before, maybe even less, the only difference was that I was more aware of all the thoughts running around in my head.

Todays I had lots of greens and veggies and less fruits and actually today was the first time that I did not feel tempted eating any chocolate at work;-) But I did have a café latte and it was SOOO GOOD! I really love my coffee once in a while.

Todays lunch sallad with cauliflower tabouléh!!! Yum yum

My Lilac Cauliflower Tabouléh 

Mix cauliflower in a mixer or food processor.

Then add:

• Fresh Parsley
• Chopped dates or raisins
• Tomatoes
• Olive oil
• Cumin
• Fresh chili
• Red onion
• Orange
• Lemon juice
• Sea salt

Day 17 - Surgery

Today I had the surgery. For the ones of you that has not been following the blog since the start, this blog started with my experiment going  Raw-vegan no sugar (no fruits, no agave, no honey etc) diet during 4 weeks. One of the reasons for doing so was that I had been diagnosed with cervix cancer and I wanted to nurture my body with the best imaginable foods . The no sugar thing has not been so successful since it totally got me out of balance on a mental/emotional level and I started being really obsessed by food. But the Raw part has been really great and I'm about 80-90% raw now and it feels really GREAT! I have lots of energy and I feel very inspired to continue eating raw.

So today it was time for the surgery and I was not allowed to eat anything after midnight yesterday and today after 7 am not even drinking water. That would have been fine if the surgery would have taken place at 8.20 as it was supposed to but due to lack off staff, emergency operations etc I had to wait until 12.30 until the "finally" rolled me into the operation room. It was horrible. I mean getting up in a gynecologist chair is pretty horrible without surgery but when they started to tie up my legs to the chair I cracked. I cried a LOT and of course what do they do....they give me a lot of tranquilizer because they don't have any time to talk to me (I totally understand that they had to do that because they are under a lot of stress and pressure but it is still fucked up). Next thing I know I'm talking to the nurses and doctor in english (don't ask me why), probably saying some really weird stuff (I remember something about they not believing in my bodys capacity to heal...oops)...and then I was gone. Next thing I remember is waking up and they where done. 

Trying to entertain myself while waiting for surgery.

Since I fell asleep during the surgery, even if I only had local anaesthesia I had to stay in the "wake up room" for a while and that was really boring and I was SOO hungry by then. The nurse tried to make me eat a pop full of sugar and other shit but I refused until she got me one that they gave to people with diabetes = a little less sugar. After asking twice if they could send me back to my room where I had my food and being refused I started to amuse myself by holding my breath and seeing what happened with the ECG, I know very childish and pretty stupid thing to do and not something that the nurse did appreciate a lot. But at least she got someone to roll me out of there.

My angel sister who has been taking care of me all day.
Love you!!!

Back in room the next nurse highly recommended me not only to eat my own fruit and veggies but also the "fika" that they offered me with the motivation that otherwise I would probably faint when I got out of bed. I did not eat their dry bread, with butter and plastic cheese and I was totally fine anyway. I know she only said it with the best of intensions but come on, some really nice organic raw fruits and veggies and goji berries and a NURSE thinks it is better to eat bread, butter and cheese... I'm speechless!!!

The hospital fika!  Full of energy....or not

They where are really sweet to me in the hospital and they all did there very best to take good care of me but I really hope I won't  be back there any time soon, it is a freakin depressing place.

    

Day 16 - Tomorrow it happens

Left Copenhagen around lunchtime today. Full of new impressions and decisions to make about the future I returned to Gothenburg and dived straight into the Hot Yoga Studio. I really LOVE hot yoga. I don't know if it has all the benefits as detoxifying your body from this and that but..... I know that it makes me feel grate and it is so much more playful then most other forms of yoga that I have tried (aerial yoga is also very fun, hanging upside down most of the class;-).  

After yoga my mom came to pick me up and we went to my sisters place to have dinner. As I was standing in the kitchen cutting the fresh sourdough bread that I had bought my sister walked in and starred at me with BIG eyes - Are we going to have bread??? hahahah. So funny, me and my sister live together and we almost only eat raw and we have not even had bread in the house for the last 3 weeks. I bought the bread with the excuse that my mom was coming and we can't force her to eat rawfood but it was actually my cravings for bread that was speaking. And both of us (ma and my sister) ate up the bread so fast that we had to cut up some more for mum...LOL. I think bread is one of the things that I miss the most when eating raw. I'm not really sure why but it might be the texture because you can't really create that with raw food. Or it is just that it is really freakin addictive;-)

Tomorrow early morning I'm heading for the hospital to have my surgery. I'm a little nervous because I have never had a surgery before and the thought of them cutting in something inside of me makes me feel very uncomfortable. But I'll be praying that everything goes well and who knows maybe I have healed and there is nothing there to take away.....;-) Tomorrow at 8.20 I'll be in the hospital getting ready to find out. Please send me all the positive energy that you can.

Me and a hot dane in Copenhagen!

Lots of love

Maria  

Day 15 - Body Self Development and 42 RAW

Yesterday was a very intense day. I went to the Body Self Development School in Copenhagen for a sort of trial day where we got the chance to see a treatment live, do the exercises and try out some of the massaging techniques on each other. The whole thing was done in danish so I had to put a lot of energy into just understanding what they where saying (swedish and danish is pretty similar but a lot easier to understand in written then spoken form). The treatment was done by one of the founders and it was pretty mind blowing. It was great to see how he could scan the body, find and release old traumas etc but I also think there is a risk that a lot of people (including myself) get the expectations that they will become as good as him after studying there for 3 years. But I think the that the founder was born with some gifts that you can't really develop unless you where born with them. Still I think it is very inspiring to watch people that has developed their gifts and see how effortlessly it flows through them. And I would also love to one day be able to help people release blockages and pain and the school seems to teach very good tools for doing so.   

During the lunch break I went to a RAW restaurant that is located just 3 min from the school and is called 42 Raw. A had been told that was not that nice so I was really surprised of how NICE I actually thought it was. The atmosphere was not as cosy as the Tribe but very modern, spacious and inviting. The menu was very appealing and I had a hard time choosing what to have. After ordering a tomato and avocado salad I changed the order at the last minute and had a Avocado Sandwich instead. And boy did I not regret that. It was very simple but SOOO tasty. Actually one of the best raw meals I have had since I started eating raw 4 weeks ago. As a dessert I had a ginger shot (that you got for free if you joined their FB fan page). Really yummie and refreshing. It was just made of apple and ginger and a small amount of beet for the color. 

The Raw Tribe and 42 Raw has very different concepts and I like them both but 42 Raw scored higher this time because of the rich flavors. If I would say something negative about the place it would be the prices. I know a lot of people that would think that 98 dek for a avocado sandwich is over the top. But at the same time it was VERY good, all super fresh and it made me feel really satisfied, so I will be back for sure to try some more dishes. And if  decide to start the education at the Body SDS I might visit this place VERY often during the next 3 years.....

Avocado Sandwich
Chili Mayo(cashew, chili olive oil), avocado, tomato,
 thyme marinated onions and hummus( I forgot to ask for the recipe:()

 

Ginger Shot, apple, ginger and
some beet for color.

The interior at 42 RAW

The cute staff at 42 RAW

     

Day 14 - Copenhagen

2 weeks has past since I left Copenhagen the last time and made the decision to be a 100% raw and eat no sugars what so ever, not even fruit. Since then I have also learned that I can't really stick to a diet like that in a healthy way, at least not yet. I got to obsessed with food almost feeling like I had an eating disorder again and I had a hard time getting all the calories I needed. Also I felt that it all got to serious and I did not feel any joy sticking to that diet.

Now I'm eating a lot of raw, some fruits and steamed stuff and I feel good and have LOTS more energy. My stomach is not happy all the time but that could also be because of detoxification, stress or just that I have not found the proper balance in my diet yet I guess. 

I had a great day here in Copenhagen. Started the day off with a Sun Warrior protein smoothie. I have never tried the Sun Warrior protein before but wow it was so good. I tried the chocolate one and it felt like having chocolate pudding for breakfast. Except for the protein I added one banana, raw chocolate nibs, maca, half a avocado and water. That made me very satisfied and totally ready for the gym. We went to my friend Sörens crossfit gym where he kicked my ass big time....I'm know I will feel VERY soar tomorrow;-)

Squats

After the gym we went to the Raw Tribe which is one of the 4 raw restaurants in Copenhagen. It is a cosy little place with a small but appetizing menu and a nice list of juices and smoothies. I had a rice roll, a small piece of lasagna and 3 different salads. That was a compromised Big veggie lunch (the lasagna was not included) that costs 85 dek. I think that is a good prize considering what you get for your money. The taste was good but not spectacular. It could have been spiced up a little bit, at least for my taste. What was heavenly though was the little "nipple" dessert that I had after lunch....OMG! Over all I think the tribe is a really cool place, the staff is very friendly and the comfy sofa is perfect for chilling out watching the staff making more yummie stuff in the kitchen. 

The Raw Tribe

Rice roll and Lasagna

"Nipple" dessert 

Tomorrow I'm going to the Body Self Development School and during the lunch break I'm hoping to have time to go and try  another of the raw restaurants, 42 RAW that is supposed to be found just around the corner from the school:-) 

Good night!!!

Day 12 & 13 Weed grass juice?

In Copenhagen! I'm here for a the second time in a short period of time. This time because of school that I'm interested and it has an open house this weekend, it is called Body Self Development School and it may be where I will spend a lot of my time during the next 3 years. Would really like moving to this wonderful city it is pretty big but it doesn't feel so big in a very good and charming way. Except for visiting the school I'm hanging out with some of my new found danish friends from the Raw Festival. And I think that tomorrow there are even a few more swedes from the festival joining us. We are planning to go to Christiania, where I have never been and someone was joking about that we should drink weed grass juice instead of the horrific tasting wheatgrass juice;-)

The further I go into this process with raw food I realize how important it is to find the balance. Not only with the diet but with everything in life. It really doesn't make a big difference if I change my diet as long as I'm not balanced within the other areas of my life. Just today I have been reminded of how extremely important sleep is for me. It really feels like my body just shuts of certain things when I don't get enough sleep. My digestive system is the first thing that gets fucked up and then I don't really think I matters that much how extremely healthy I eat because my body probably can't assimilate it anyway.

Yesterday was a really RAW day for me almost a 100% and I felt great, today was not so RAW I even had cappuccino and cornetto with nutella, but honestly it was not that good so lesson learned...

Tomorrow I hope to try out one of the 4 RAW restaurants here in Copenhagen.

Making ice cubes of the wheatgrass, for
my morning shots.   

Juicing all the fresh wheatgrass I had left before
heading for Copenhagen.